The aging of a person presents various problems to the individual as well as to those around him. When we grow older and feel that we are gradually losing some of our faculties, and become weaker and ailing, it is very difficult to stay in a happy state of mind. Added to this are often economic difficulties, family troubles, climate, regional, and housing hardships, and, last but not least, mental maladjustment. How are we to cope with such situations?
In the first place we must remember that every period of life has its own advantages. In later life youth and vigor are usually supplanted by ease of living and wisdom. All struggles and mistakes of the early years are left behind. Money, sex, and food are not much worry; there is more serenity and objectivity, and more things of worldly interest to occupy one’s mind. Studies of various kinds, hobbies, politics, social and charity work offer tremendous fields in physical and mental improvement. Remember that most outstanding men and women of the world are over sixty years of age.
Old age must be planned for for many years in advance. It is true that nowadays society takes partial care of the aged in the form of social security and old-age pensions. However, that cannot be wholly depended upon, because in most cases it is insufficient. There are many ways to provide for the economic future while young. The surest ones are to put away bit by bit in bank savings accounts, and to invest in personal and business property, stocks and bonds, secure businesses, annuities, insurance, et cetera. All this requires diligence and thrift in the younger years. Every sensible person realizes that he or she must work for a living and save regularly from their wages. One who spends all he earns (and some are in debt besides) and leaves none for a rainy day is an eternal slave who will never be on his own. As we get older our working value as well as our ability to get employment or stay in business decrease, we must give room to younger people who take our places in all industries. That is the time when our savings will come handy and we will have no worry about earning a living. As long as possible, however, one should stay on the job, working -at least part of the time in order to be occupied and active. At all ages some activity is an absolute necessity. Just as long as blood flows in our veins we must be in motion to promote circulation and with it — life.
The aging person should take extra precautions about his health. By this time one knows exactly what regime of living and which foods are most agreeable. One should assiduously adhere to that for best results. Plenty of outdoor living with good air and deep breathing, sunshine, recreation, ocean bathing in warm seasons or in warm climates, walking, sleep, relaxation, good companionship, and healthy amusement will keep one in good shape.
On the mental side of adjustment to old age peace of mind is an important factor. It is not easy to be fully contented with old age creeping up, and debility and sickness setting in. Many an oldster becomes grouchy and cynical due to constant fretting about past failures and disappointments. Bad habits become set and it is very difficult to get rid of them. One should find an interest in life, set a goal, and work toward it. No matter how old a person is he can have a goal of some kind and have interest in it to keep him stimulated. Social, charity, spiritual, work, et cetera, offer wide fields of interest and usefulness. The realization that one is of benefit to others and is needed by his fellowmen gives a great deal of encouragement to continue living and being happy.
Fear of death should not disrupt the harmony and peace of mind of an oldster. After all, we are afraid only of dying prematurely, and mainly of sickness. When it comes to dying of ripe old age, death comes as a natural sequence of accomplishing the prescribed course of attainments in this life which will be continued in one’s succeeding lives. One should strive to be healthy and happy, then a long and pleasant life is assured, and there will be no need to worry about death.
Live from day to day; do not concern yourself with the past while looking forward to the future with hope and aspiration. Do not talk of the “good old times,” or be in the habit of looking over old pictures. Do not complain about your ills, shortcomings, or general conditions. All this accentuates old age, making you feel old and act old. Be young in spirit, keep smiling, cheer all those around you. People will love you and you will love yourself too. Practice generosity. Give of yourself and your earthly possessions freely — no one likes a stingy old man or old woman. Have faith in God; always realize that if you live right in accordance with His physical and moral precepts He will be with you and guide and protect you at all times. Repeat to yourself several times daily, particularly upon arising in the morning and before retiring at night the following positive affirmations: “I am healthy and strong; I am doing wonderfully; I will live to the age of (so many years); God is with me,” et cetera. Seek the companionship of fine uplifting people of all ages. Friendship offers a great deal of diversion, fun, happiness, at the same time it helps take one’s attention away from one’s self.
Living with, and being dependent on, one’s children is a very unsatisfactory way of spending one’s old age. Women are usually the main offenders in this respect. Children, especially grandchildren, live an entirely different life than oldsters do and when these ages are thrown together in permanent coexistence they both suffer as a result. The young ones feel restricted in the presence of domineering grandparents, and, in consequence, cannot develop as normally as when they are in a younger atmosphere. The second generation often feels bad about the unhealthy state of affairs, but may be reluctant to displease their parents. Very often the results of such situations are animosity, nervous strain with its usual companion, psychosomatic illness, and ultimate tragedy of some kind. Most often such situations are built up where a mother dominates her married children or vice versa.
On the other hand, the oldsters when living together with their children will resent many of the modern liberties and general behavior of the youngsters and, having the feeling of seniority, are apt to nag or dominate the third as well as the second generation. On top of that the oldsters will not be able to stand the noise, the constant hubbub of young life, and will never feel at home in such atmosphere. It is well for the aged parents to live in proximity to, but not together with, their married children; to see them often, but not every day, and to spend only short intervals of time in their houses occasionally. It is well to help out the children now and then but not become steady baby-sitters or reliefmen. Live your own life, in your own home, rented house, or apartment or else board with other people — according to your circumstances. Have the pleasure, interest, and satisfaction of taking care of your house, lawn, and garden with the associated feeling of complete independence. For the widowed oldster the ideal place is a home for the aged. Here one can find comfort, attendance, companionship of other aged persons of both sexes, amusement and pleasure. Very often a match in marriage can be made there, and a new life companion acquired with whom to share the last years of one’s life pleasantly.
In conclusion, let us remember that in all ages, places, or circumstances it is always entirely up to us to adjust ourselves as best we can and thus build our own path to happiness. With a strong desire to do that the oldster can find a new happy life where all interest and hope have been lost before.
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