Our manners contribute a great deal to our success and happiness in life. Without good manners it is difficult, sometimes impossible, to attain a high executive position, make a success in business, or attract people and make friends. Well-behaved people are leaders in every line of business or social affairs, and are also apt to be successful in their family lives.
Etiquette is a set of conventional rules to be applied by people in their dealings with one another. It is founded upon ethics which embrace the principles of morality and duty, and also on common sense and consideration for others. To apply etiquette does not mean to be a stuffed shirt. It means being polite and respectful to others—attitudes notable, not only for their beneficial influences in dealing with others, but also for their uplifting effect exerted upon the person himself who employs them.
We shall not go into details of rules of etiquette required for every walk of life. What we are mainly concerned with here are those rules of behavior which are directly conducive to good will and happiness. In our everyday life we must come in contact with other people unless we live in complete isolation. In order to get along we must, when we live in any kind of a community, know how to treat our fellowmen correctly. A great part of our bringing-up from childhood to adolescence is concerned with our relations with other people. Thus the fundamentals of our behavior patterns are acquired in our childhood, and are later applied by us almost automatically. There are, however, some rules of behavior to which we do not give much thought, but they are, nevertheless, just as important due to their far-reaching implications. So let us consider here those things which we must or must not do to ourselves and to others in order that we may become congenial and welcome to those we associate with. Many adults need brushing up on some of these rules of behavior because, for one reason or another, they have neglected to pay attention to them, and as a result, may find themselves unwelcome among others and unhappy with themselves.
Personal cleanliness and neatness are first on the list of etiquette requirements. One of the advantages of modern life is the ease in taking care of our personal hygiene. Modern conveniences in our city and many country homes offer us an inducement to keep our body clean at all times. We should bathe at least once every day, and wash our mouths and brush our teeth to prevent body and mouth odors. However, the latter cannot be removed completely by external cleanliness only. Many people take baths and wash their mouths regularly yet exude repulsive odors from both. The reasons for this are: overeating, the consumption of excesses of acid-forming foods like meats, starches, and sweets, and also smoking and drinking. Much embarrassment and expense on useless often harmful deodorants could be avoided by a rational diet and clean living.
While we are at it, let us not pass up the latest gigantic squeeze on the American public—the chlorophyll fake. It has been conclusively proved that chlorophyll is neither an external nor an internal deodorant. Even if it were, its cost is highly prohibitive. The chlorophyll extract costs somewhere around $130 a pound and only very minute quantities of it can be put into commercial preparations. Yet the people in this country spend a veritable fortune on a multitude of chlorophyll concoctions, made up for every imaginable use.
Personal neatness implies keeping our body in proper shape and repair. Men, as well as women, should keep their hair groomed and trimmed regularly; men should always appear both in public and in front of their family cleanly shaved. They should avoid the use of perfumes—these are repulsive to others when they exude from a man, while for a woman it is advisable to use them because their fragrance adds to the femininity desired and looked for in a woman.
Annoying to others also are missing or broken teeth, dirty or patched-up eyeglasses, unsightly hearing aids, or the absence of an aid in a hard-of-hearing person. Many body defects like puffs under the eyes, droopy cheeks, double chins, paunchy bellies, and fat legs can be corrected by rational living and the application of natural methods of eating. Food has a tremendous effect on the rebuilding and revitalizing of the cells of our body. Good natural food will eliminate dead cells, fatty tissues, faulty growths both on the outside and inside of the body and make a person look normal and pleasant.
Manners at the table, whether at home or in public, are very important as they predispose others toward or against us according to the way we act. Keeping your hands or elbows on the table, wiping your mouth with your hand, belching, picking your teeth, rolling bread balls, shouting, monopolizing the conversation, arguing or debating—all these will not add attraction to your personality, but instead cause resentment in others toward you.
Clothes are a very important factor in our relations with others. Dirty, torn, or otherwise unkempt clothes, with the exception of those needed for wear at dirty work, are obnoxious to those we associate with. Men should endeavor to wear clean, orderly clothes in good repair and of decent appearance when in company of others.
Clothes are one of the most important objects of interest with women. Most women try to dress well although not all of them pay enough attention to the cleanliness of their apparel. Special care should be taken of the latter as well as of undergarments—a point which is quite often overlooked by many members of the fair sex. Current styles, matching colors, and proper dresses for each occasion have their importance in a woman’s dressing as they add much to her feeling of assurance and ease and at the same time predispose others favorably towards her. Neat clothes, worn by men as well as women, are a great aid in securing and holding good jobs, promoting sales, and making a success in business.
Shoes should be well fitting, neat and polished; stockings not wrinkled on women; and socks not falling down on men. Men’s socks provided with elastic tops are very handy as they always stay up. Hats should be neat, clean, not soaked through with perspiration on men, and fitting, fresh-styled and suitable for the rest of the outfits for women.
In our dealings with others we must always be motivated by kindness and consideration. In order to be happy ourselves we must not only receive, but also give, and make others happy. Our face is the first and most important object observed by others and its expression conveys to them our emotions and thoughts. A cheerful, kindly, smiling face will go far in attracting people to you. Think kindly of others and your face will show it; you will attain charm and poise of the natural, not superficial kind, because it will come from your heart and people will feel that it is genuine, not made to order.
In conversing with others try to use pleasant tones and humor in your talk. Do not shout or scream, breathe or belch, cough or expectorate into another’s face or put your hands on him while talking.
One of the worst offenses which is very common among smokers is to blow their smoke on or around the person they are conversing with. It has been said that of all people the most inconsiderate ones are smokers. They will smoke unceremoniously in the presence of non-smokers, throw ashes and cigarette-butts around, expectorate, cough, and spit. How much happier they, as well as others, would be if they did not indulge in these obnoxious practices I
A little etiquette applied by a man in his relations with his wife would go a long way towards her loving and respecting him. Walking beside her on the outer part of the sidewalk; letting her get into the car, or inside the house, ahead of himself; avoiding watching her when she is attending to her toilet—all these are small, seemingly unimportant things, but they mean a great deal to a woman. They convey to her a sense of respect and cooperation on the part of her husband, thus making her feel secure and happy.
In the same way a woman may show her respect for her man and thus gain his affection by refraining from monopolizing him in public, or replying for him to personal questions asked him by others; mimicking, belittling, or bawling him out in the presence of others. Many a woman is guilty of these offenses and should learn to control herself at all times if she values the congeniality and happiness of her married life.
Compliance with all these easily acquired rules makes life pleasant for you and those around you. It does not cost anything, yet accomplishes a great deal. Fine manners blossoming out of a kind heart will make this a better world to live in.
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